Leila's Blog

I don't have class today, so I stayed home and did a review for my upcoming finals. I only have two finals, so I don't have to study much. I'm not worry about Math because I got most of the things that I learned in class and memorized most of the formulas at the moment my teacher explained and went over them in class. All I have to do is look back at the handouts, quizzes and tests and practice some problems that I still have trouble with. I need to focus on my English though. I have to read over the 8 short stories and memorize what each story is about. Anyway, my mom and I went to picked up my niece, Katherine, at Carson Elemetary school today. The sky was pretty clear when we left the house, showed no sign of raining at all. Unfortunately, it was raining on our way home, light at first, then it started getting heavy. Luckily I have my umbrella, and my mom got the raincoat, so we used them. I GOT WET, not much though. I would be sneezing and coughing by now if I get all wet hehe. It was cold. Like, 5 minutes after we got in the house, it stopped raining. Oh, I hated that. Why did it have to rain on our way home? Anyway, after I picked her home we ate something (it's the only meal I had so far, from 11:30 until now. Yup, my only meal), and I played with her until her parents came and picked her home. Then, I continued reviewing for my finals. I'm taking a break right now. You have to have break in between during your reviews or else you won't get much information into your brain. Anyway, that's it for today. Check out this song. I loved it. It's San Sheng San Jie by Xiao Zheng Nan and Wong Rong (三世情缘 - 萧正楠 & 王蓉). Ok, I think I'm gonna go and eat something.  

These quotes are in English (blue) and Vietnamese (purple). These quotes base on my emotions, so please NO REPOST. If you want to repost it, please link back to this page. Thank you.

Brutal Love - Tình Yêu Đau Khổ (December 10)
"If falling for you cause my heart to bleed, it might be a good idea just to forget you. If falling in love only bring me sadness, then it might be the best way not to fall in love again."
"Nếu yêu anh khiến trái tim em bị rướm máu, thì có lẽ cách tốt nhất để giải thoát đau khổ cho em là quên đi anh. Nếu tình yêu chỉ mang lại cho em sự phiền muộn, thì em sẽ mãi mãi không bước vào con đường tình ái thêm một lần nào nữa."

Satisfy With What You Have - Hãy Vui Với Hiện Tại (December 11)   
"People are often greedy about what they have. If we don't have what we want, we are not happy and not satisfy. If we have what we want, we're still not satisfy and are eager to have more. Whether we have what we want or not, we are still unhappy about our life. If that's the case, why can't we be modest with what we have? Perhaps it's the only way for us to live a peaceful life."
"Con người nhiều khi thật quá là tham lam. Nếu chúng ta không thể có được những gì chúng ta muốn, thì chúng ta sẽ không được vui. Ngược lại, nếu như chúng ta có được những gì chúng ta muốn, chúng ta cũng không thỏa mãn, thậm chí còn mong muốn có được nhiều hơn. Nếu như có cũng không vui, mà không có thì cũng không được vui, vậy thì tại sao chúng ta lại không vui vẻ và chấp nhận cuộc sống mà mình đang có? Có thể đây là cách tốt nhất cho tâm của chúng ta được bình bình, yên yên để sống hết cuộc đời này."

Lonely - Cô Đơn (December 13)
"I can only turn to you when I cry.But who do I turn to when I'm sad if you are the person who broke my heart?"
"Em chỉ có thể dựa vào anh trong những lúc buồn tủi. Nhưng em biết dựa vào ai, khi người làm em đau khổ lại chính là anh?"   

Parents' Love - Tình cha, nghĩa mẹ (December 19)
"There is nothing greater than parents' love"
"Không gì cao hơn tình cha. Không gì bao la bằng nghĩa mẹ."

Friend - Bằng Hữu (December 19)
"It's fate that we become friends. If we treat each other with whole-hearted and honesty, then why mention 'best' or 'not best'?"
"Hữu duyên mới làm bằng hữu. Nếu đối đãi nhau bằng tấm lòng chân thật, thì sao lại câu nệ đến chữ 'thân' hay là 'không thân'?"

Love and Loyalty - Tình Yêu và Sự Chung Thủy (December 22)
"Nothing can be compare to Guo Jing and Huang Rong's love. Nothing shall compare to Yang Guo's loyalty to Xiao Long Nu. Their love is forever, even God can't separate them."
"Không có tình yêu nào có thể so sánh với tình yêu của Quách Tĩnh và Hoàng Dung. Không có sự chung thủy nào có thể so sánh được sự chung thủy của Dương Qúa đối với Tiểu Long Nữ. Tình cảm của họ là vĩnh cửu, là trường tồn. Thiên địa cũng không thể chia cách họ."

The weather is pretty nice today, I guess, compare to yesterday. It's cold, but at least it's not raining crazy like yesterday. After getting off the first bus, I decided to walked home instead of waiting for the second bus even though I knew I only have to wait for 5 minutes. I don't care if it's cold. I don't care if my face and my hands get cold; I just wanted to walk in the cold. I'm pretty happy today compare to yesterday. I guess it's because the weather that has an impact on my feelings. I remember about my high school life with friends while waiting for the first bus to come. All the details were clearly appeared in my mind as if all the events were just happen yesterday, and not couple years ago. Anyway, let's talk about my high school memory with my friends. I have only couple close friends in school, and here they are:
1. Adam McHenry
2. Alexie Jungco (nick: Chiyo)
3. Elisha Larson (nick: Tomo)
4. Linda Nguyen

First, let's start with a brief story of how we met each other, and where we got our Japanese names from.
Linda: A friend I met at Marston Middle School in 8th grade
Tomo: We met each other through Primavera, one of my friends at Marston Middle School. We were in the same P.E. class, all three of us.
Adam: We met through Prima or Tomo. I can't remeber exactly though, but we were also in the same P.E. class
Chiyo: We met through Tomo

Finally, my nickname is Yomi. Tomo, Yomi, and Chiyo were the Japanese names from Tomo's manga series called Azuma Daioh. Tomo was the one who picked the names for us according to our personalities. I put each of the year in the color correspond to the class color when I was at CHS:
Gray = Freshmen
Green = Sophomore
Yellow = Junior
Red = Senior

Freshmen: Freshmen year wasn't the most fun year of my high school years at Clairemont. I only had P.E. class with Tomo and Adam, so let's just focus on my P.E. class because the other classes were that interesting to be mention. Adam was the most random one in a group of four of us (Tomo, Prima (Primavera), and me). Every day when we got to our P.E. class, Adam was the one who entertained us and brought out the laughters of each one of us. Then Mr. Deperro, our P.E. teacher (I believe that's how you spell his name) came and we had to go back to our roll call numbers. Tomo and I were standing next to each other while the other two were at two different places. Mr. Deperro was a pretty cool guy even though he forced us to run laps around the P.E. area, sometimes in the Gym (if it was rainning). We played different sports in this class: badminton, soccer, baseball, basketball, lac-crose (I don't know how to spell it), track-and-field, and we had a dance lesson, which made me feel pretty unseasy. Anyway, Every time we finished our mile runs, we gather in a group of four and started the giggling and the laughing. Even while playing sports, the four of us were always together, well not always, but most of the time. We were fooling around during class and wasn't really pay close attention to his lectures in class, but he didn't mind though. The thing that I remember the most about Adam was all the weird noises that he made. The most hillarious one was the monkey sound and action. Prima, Tomo and I were craking up when he did that. I loved this class. The only thing I didn't like were the tests, but they were hard, so I guess I was fine with it, just didn't like it though.

Sophomore: Okie, down to Sophomore year. This was when we experience the moment of happiness and sadness together. Tomo, Linda, Chiyo and I were in the same class again, not only one but two classes together: Honors Chemistry and Advanced Intermediate Algebra. Our Chemistry teacher was Mr. Beaubien, and Math teacher was Mr. Regardie. Let's start with Chemistry class. At the beginning of the class, the four of us sat at two different tables. Tomo and Linda sat at the first table of the 3rd row (count the rows from left to right) while Chiyo and I sat at the 4th or 5th table of the 2nd row. We sat like that for only about a month, Chiyo and I moved up to Tomo's table because Tomo wanted us to, and because we also wanted it. The four of us were squeezing into one little table that was designed for only two students, hehehe. Mr. Beaubien was pretty a chilly guy; he didn't say anything about it though. We were the loudest group in the class with all the laughing and giggling. Tomo and Linda liked to do my hair while we were in class with nothing to do. Chiyo and I, on the other hand were doing something, I can't remember exactly what we were doing. Mr. Beaubien was confused when he passed out our papers when we first moved to the table. He got used to it later on, and one day, he suddenly asked: "How can you guys deal with so many papers on your table?" Of course we couldn't say anything except smiled at him. He smiled back and walked away. Tomo drew a pretty funny picture about him in the class, and I still have that picture tapped on the wall. It was funny, and I still laughed pretty hard at it every time I glanced at it. Ok, done with Chemistry, now let's go to Math. We weren't really have much fun in Math class because Mr. Regardie had high expectation with his students, so we had to pay attention. On some homework-day days, Chiyo, Tomo, Linda and I were working in a group, but we were also fooling around, and got all the assignments finished on time. We didn't really learn any new materials before the breaks, so Mr. Regardie put on a movie for us to watch. It was about the global warming that made most of the students in class felt asleep. Tomo and I, on the other hand, started our little fight (prefer back on the previous blog entry on "A Silly Fight with Tomo" for the complete fight scene). The fight was pretty silly and funny. Anyway, that was about it. Now, let's go outside of class. Tomo had problem with her boyfriend, and she was pretty sad about it. Chiyo, Linda and I were always by her side at lunch time to keep her company. We tried as best as we could to comfort her. Tomo was more than a friend to me. I considered her as my little sister by this time. I felt really hurt when I saw the tears on her face. Then all of a sudden, my eyes started getting watery and tears started to come out. We hugged each other and cried for almost the whole lunch hour. Finally, she got over it, and I was happy to know that she finally overcame her sadness.

Junior: We finally were juniors in high school. Chiyo transferred to a different school this year, so the group only had three people: Linda, Tomo and I. But Tomo went out with another guy, and she spent her time with him, so Linda and I were the only two persons that remained in the group. Junior year didn't really have excited things to mention. So let's skip over this.

Senior: Last but not least, it was the final year of our High School. This time, it was me who got in problems, but I didn't really want to tell any of my friends because there were no reasons for involve them in my problems. I kept everything inside me, and only showed a happy side of me, even Linda didn't know that I have problems until one day she saw me crying, alone, in the empty corner in the library. At first, I didn't really want to tell her because I didn't want to make her sad. However, I didn't get away with it. I told her about what I've been through. The more I talked to her, the more tears I had on my face. Tears just came out, and I couldn't control it no matter how much I wanted to. I used almost a whole bag of tissue. Then, we graduated, and each one of us had our own path to go.

I don't know if they're gonna remember this. But I will always remember and love them and all the things that we've been through together. I loved them back then, I love them now, and I will always love and remember them. They will always be in my heart, the very bottom of my heart.

I felt really emty today for some unknown reasons. It was consistently raining here in San Diego, and it was cold. Perhaps it was the rain that made the inside of me pretty emty. Because of this emtiness, it reminded me of all the past. Once I thought I could never smile again. You have no idea how many times I've been crying alone in my room, holding everything inside. It made me sick, and I don't like that feeling at all. I was terribly hurt. I felt like my heart has been cut into million little pieces. I cried more than I laughed. I was hurt more than I was happy. Sometimes, I began to doubt about my existence. Some other times, I wished I never exist in this world. I faked smile and happy while in school, while around everybody. But when I was in my room, alone, that was the moment for me to express my true feelings. Sometimes, I wished I could cry in my mom's arm, could tell her all my problems, but that will make her sad and worry. I didn't want to put anymore pressure on her. She already had enough. When I thought of the past today, I really wanted to walk in the rain with the hope that all the raindrops are going to wipe away all those miserable moments that I've had in the past. I wanted the the freezing air to freeze my heart, to turn it into a piece of stone, so that I don't feel hurt anymore. Thinking is one thing, actually do it is another thing. I don't have the guts to walk in the rain. If I do that, I'll shock my mom right at the moment I enter the house, and I'll get sick. I desperately wanted to heal my wounds, wanted to put all the pieces of my heart together and make it a whole heart again because it's still in pieces. It hurts so bad that I don't know if I can take in anymore pains. I seriously can't. May be, may be one day, I will walk in the rain to release all the pains I received. May be one day, I can actually experience the true meaning of happiness. One day! One day!